Patience...

Lately (more so than normal) I feel like I have no patience. Not the kind of patience for the future, or for this and that happening, but patience with people. I don't know what it is. I feel like I get irritated when people ask me to do things at my work...things that they could easily do themselves. I get impatient and irritable with the same disobedient kids in my Sunday school class. I get impatient and irritable with people that I find annoying in general. I don't know if it's my imagination but I feel like I used to be better at dealing with this. Maybe it's my age! I'm getting old and crotchety! Look out! I hate to know what I'm going to be like in my 80's. I'll probably be whacking people in the chins with my cane...pretending like it was an accident! "Ooops, sorry, my feeble eyes just aren't what they used to be....Ha! Ha! Sucker, that will teach you to walk in front of me!"

So, here are a few examples. A tenant of the office building asks me to make 6 coffees and bring 5 cups of water to a deposition that is occurring. I have no idea why...but that bugged me. I felt like saying, "I'm not your maid and I don't work for YOU! I don't have to!" It really isn't a big deal. I should be happy that I have something to do for once. But I was bugged.

Yesterday I was at the climbing gym. There was a young man there...who I actually know from Grace...that bugs the bajeebers out of me. Because my ankle was a little sore I was traversing yesterday (finding routes across the wall) rather than climbing up. I was grabbing some really small, hard hand holds, for the challenge I guess. I couldn't hold on to one and fell backwards. Whatever, no big deal...I'm a foot off the ground. So this guy says something along the lines...rather loudly, "Why don't you grab the big hand holds! The point of traversing is to STAY on the wall!" So, I feel like my normal response would be to ignore him and keep doing what I want. Instead I sarcastically say back, "Gosh! You're right! I'm so stupid. What was I thinking! Thank you for that wisdom." It was one of those replies that start out with a mean sarcastic tone and then mid-way through it you realize that you're being unkind and you try to change it to a joking tone. Whatever. Jason noticed it and thought it was funny...and yet also called me on it after we left. (*Note: Jason is so good with this kid. I'm thoroughly amazed.)

I am realizing lately how incredibly prideful I am. It's pride that makes me feel like I shouldn't have to be a "maid" and bring coffee to people. It was pride that made me snap back at this guy at the climbing gym. Pride is a plague that haunts us all...and it penetrates the will and our words so deeply. So, my recent prayer has been for patience. The patience comes through seeing these people as Christ does. I can serve these people at work and bring them coffee joyfully! It's not because I find my value in what I am doing, but because I find my value in Who I rest in. Christ is my value-giver and He calls me to serve. I can see this guy in the way Christ does. The truth is that this guy is quite insecure, and that a lot of people are bugged by him. I need to love the unlovable...because that is what Christ calls us to do and has done. Christ loves me and he knows my heart, every sin and fault I have. I think that through the Lord's strength I can look beyond personality annoyances and love the person behind it all. So, the day is fresh and new. Let's see what happens.... :-)