The final decision on Chile

Well, I don't even know where to begin. The last couple of weeks for Jason and I have been emotionally draining, challenging, and full of prayer. So, I will just begin by saying that Jason and I have decided to not go to Chile. Here is the basic sketch of how this came to be...


Jason and I have been going back and forth, back and forth with Chile. Let's do it...let's not, it'll be great...I'm pretty nervous. I think this is the Lord's will...maybe it's not. We have been on our knees non-stop for the last couple of weeks and it has been draining! To begin, one of the many factors concerning this decision is the lack of time. We have exactly 4 months before we would need to be in Chile. Before that we would need to get married. Basically then we have 3 1/2 months for an engagement. It's just too much. We were talking and we decided that if it was just involved him and I than it might be possible. But, the fact is that weddings involve a ton of other people, most importantly our parents, and it just will be too much for them, too much stress, with too little time.


So, here is the last couple of days in a nutshell. To begin, we were super excited. The possibility of going abroad excited me beyond what I can believe. Fortunately, I have a man who is just as excited for such a thing. We applied, did all of the work, waited for a while and finally were excepted. We were excepted on the condition that they can find us housing...as was stated in another Blog. We were excited and yet confused and reserved. We were not going to make any other decisions on it for a while until we thought and prayed a lot. We ended up meeting with Ken about the whole situation. He encouraged us and said that he thought it would be a crazy next 4 months but that it sounded exciting and that he thought we would grow closer to the Lord and to each other through it. We left the meeting feeling okay. There was never a point though where I would say we were both 100% for it. We always had some hesitations regarding it.

We had been praying a lot and then we decided to meet with Jen Peet becuase she was in town for the Missions Conference. She studied abroad in Chile for 6 months in college. We met with Jen last Tuesday night. We talked to her, got advice, she gave us some questions to ask the organization and then we parted...she didn't tell us not to go, she didn't say she thought we were crazy. She was realistic but also encouraging. She thought though that since we are volunteering and working so much for them that the organization should take full responsibility of giving us at least enough money to cover room and board. We agreed with her. Then we parted from her. By the time we got to Jason's house from meeting with her we were both ridden with anxiety, had little to no peace concerning it, and were just utterly frustrated over the whole thing. We prayed right then and there in the car...a prayer of frustration, confusion, and direction. We just couldn't figure out what to do.


We then went in his house and tried to watch some TV to just distract ourselves I think. That didn't work out so well so we decided to make a pro's and con's list for having a short engagement and going to Chile and also for having a normal engagement and not going to Chile. Of course they came out even. So, Jason's mom had finished dinner and called us into the kitchen. Jason decided that we should have a "pre-secret" ballot vote :-)...like the Primaries. (you are totally getting a glimpse at how we make decisions and solve problems.) This wasn't to be our final vote but...you know...to get an idea for what we were feeling at the time. So, he ripped off two chuncks of paper and we wrote what we thought on it. We put them in our pockets, had dinner, and then decided to show them to each other. After some time of, "No, you show yours first." "Come on, I just want to see what you wrote first." we simultaneously opened the other person's paper. On Jason's piece of paper that I read it said, "Don't go to Chile and find a Christian organization to go with after we are married." On my piece of paper that Jason read it said, "Don't go to Chile. I don't know, I'm just so overwhelmed." So, the "Primaries" for Chile revealed that we would not go.


We then left it at that and I went home, slept on it and still felt the same way the next morning. I saw Jason at Grace that morning and we talked about it and he still felt the same way too. We just kept praying through out the day and as every hour passed by I felt more and more sure that Chile was not what the Lord had for us now. We had dinner yesterday evening and together felt absolutely certain that Chile just wasn't it. So, we decided to email my parents and the lady that we have been working with in Chile. When we opened Jason's email to write it there was an email in his inbox from that lady in Chile. In the email it said that she double checked about our living quarters and that we would be living in a hostel for at least the first month we were at our assignment...and we might even have to live there for the whole 6 months. WELL...that put the nail in the coffin. I don't know if any of you have ever stayed in a hostel but uh, yeah, there is no way that I will be newely married and living with a bunch of other people, not having a kitchen, or our own bathroom, AND trying to prepare 8 hours of lessons for class. How are we supposed to cook even? (Isn't it wonderful how the Lord changed our heart before the email! How merciful He is! He could have revealed that to us when we were still into the idea and we would have been so disappointed. Instead He completely affirmed us!)

So, here is what we have learned from all of this. First, I have been so encouraged by Jason's leadership and constant desire to go before the Lord with a trial. He is such a wonderful man and I am just...just overjoyed that the Lord has provided such a wonderful friend and more so, a faithful man of God. Next, we have come to the decision that the Lord means us for missions and a life abroad. You would think that all this would cause us to doubt this but rather it has affirmed it more than I can imagine or explain...this just isn't where we are supposed to be right now. Also, this is just a taste of the challenges, preperations, disappointments, and constant prayer that will be needed to live in the mission field. The fact that we are not scared away but are even more drawn to it is a testimony of our Lord and how He is absolutely in this. And lastly and more simply, this has drawn us closer to one another and even more so to our Lord...we have been in full dependence on Him the last few weeks. What a hard place to be and yet what a sweet and wonderful place to be. So, in all, we praise Him for what He has done and we are eager to see what is next. Thank you to all who have been praying for us! You all are so great and we are so thankful for you all!!!

PS: This is officially the world's longest Blog entry!!!!

It makes me wonder...

So, I must ask mothers (when I saw this I started to wonder, being that I am sick and all)...when you are sick at home and are stuck with your children...you want a break, just a moment to breath and relax...or have some tea. Is this ever tempting?

I couldn't resist posting this. I was searching pictures of "sick days" to post on my blog and somehow I came up with this. I wonder if a mother...or more likely a father (no offense men) did this to their poor baby when they, the parents, were sick. I realize this is completely horrible...I don't know who would do this and yet I wonder if it secretly speaks to mothers. I will say that it secretely speaks to this eldest sister of three brothers. :-)

Sick...

I have a killer cold. Cold's are always annoying. I hate sleeping the most when I have a cold. Over all though they are usually not that bad all things considering. I mean you could always be yacking your brains out! :-) This cold though...yes, it exceeds all ideas that I had about colds and my ability to with stand them. I feel like my head is quite literally going to explode. It really hurts....and I am at work which makes it worse. I would be quite content if I were in my bed with a movie on, wearing my jammies with a cup of peppermint tea. That sounds nice...

But, I am not, so I guess I must do my best to be comfortable here at my desk...which includes being in my coat and soft fleece scark still (even though I have been at work now for two hours) and a having myself a cup of hot green tea which is sitting by my keyboard. Did I mention that I am not in the mood for coffee and have not had any this morning...this is a huge sign that things just aren't quite right with my body :-).

The Latest News

Well, we talked to the rep for the English Open Doors program this morning again. They are 5 hours ahead and so I had to drive over to Jason's house at 6:00 am so that we would have enough time to talk to her before he had to go to work at 7am. So, here is what we have found out.

• We have been told that there are two possible regions that we would be placed in. The Small North region or Region IX, The Lake District.
• We apparently would be given $210 US each for living...a total of $420. This should be enough for rent for these two regions.
• They will try to look for a place for us to live, if they do not find one it will be our responsibility once we get there
• There is a chance that we won't be able to get an apartment becuase we may not have all the "necessary paper-work" to rent one...so, there is a small chance that we would have to live in a hostal...hmmmm
• All we need to say is "yes" and then we are in.

So, how does that sound? I'm okay with all of the bullets above accept for the 4th one. A hostel? Not sure what I think about that! Actaully I know exactly what I think about that...HA, FAT CHANCE!!! I think though that this is not an incredibly likely situation. I have looked on craigslist chile and they have many houses and apartments for rent that are directed toward those in America. SO, once again...the Lord is saying, "Trust me!" So, Jason and I are praying and seeking the Lord. We could use prayer for sure. We just need to know if this is wise and prayer for housing. It doesn't have to be nice or roomy...or anything, just a place to call our own. So, maybe the next update will be about whether we are going! :-)

Accepted...?

Well, we have been accepted to the program...I think. Funny how all of this stuff works. It's like the Lord always has something that you need to trust Him on...it never just all works out smoothly. Oh well!

So, yes, we are accepted. The catch is though that as long as they can find us a region where we can afford to live on our own in an apartment. What is that supposed to mean? Is there a good chance that this will happen? A not so good chance? Apparently they are on break (the people she is trying to get in touch with at the different regions...I think that it's the schools that we will be working for) for the months of Jan-Feb. So, do we find out at the beginning of March? In which case that is like 3 months before...which is a little while but...still! I think that 3 months notice is enough for me but maybe not enough for Jason. He is a planner!!! I mean, I am too. He though really likes to have all his ducks in a line, and double checked too! I don't know. So, reading the email was like "YES! WE ARE ACCEPTED!" and then, "oh...ummmm. okay." So funny!

Okay, so here is my thinking on all of this. I just keep praying the typical prayer that all do when making the decision to do something different, "Lord, shut the door if this is not your will!" So far, it has not been the case. Actually, it's been the opposite case in many ways and has been really quite easy. So, why doubt now when we actually have to trust the Lord a little!?! I wish i didn't have such weak faith. I do though feel a bit overwhelmed with thinking of all that will have to happen in the next 4 1/2 months to make this happen (if this IS what's happening...including a proposal, a wedding, all of the jazz that goes into a wedding, a new job, apartment, country, language, and the list goes on...

Funny how I've desired change for so long. I think that it's possible that I may receive a little more than I wanted. hahahaha. Don't you just love how the Lord works?

Might as Well...

Well, I am at work right now and I am so very bored. I have only worked 5 hours so far (3 1/2 left to go) and yet it feels like so much more. So, I thought that I would Blog...becuase that might help 20 min go by faster. I have nothing of real interest to say but I thought that I would do that "Things you don't know about me" thingy that I saw on Lisa Leonard's blog...who by the way has the cutest blog ever. So...here it goes.

1. I don't like white creamy things but am obsessed with Sour Cream. Mayonnaise, Alfrdeo Sauce, Ranch....all of those things really gross me out and yet for some reason I just love sour cream. It's probably one of my favorite condiments.

2. I have no tolerance for people who smack when they chew their food. It is like finger nails on a chalk board and it takes everything that I have to not scream out "Oh my gosh! Didn't your parents teach you how to chew with out the world hearing you!" It's really bad. Sorry out there to all of you who smack! :-)

3. I like old things. Old people, old cars, old chairs, old houses...if it's old, I like it and the more pathetic the better.

4. I have a wierd thing about naming random objects...particularly things that aren't all that great....like Jason's old yellow truck that he used to have. I named it Hary becuase it had dog hair in it from the past owner. I find that when I name things I form some sort of odd emotional bond to it. So, something that was not desirable, becomes desirable some how becuase it has a name...weird. Now that I think about it...I named all of my dad's old beat up cars when I was young...and I ws always oddly sad to see them go. Hmmm.

5. My collar bones are hyper sensitive. Maybe it's becuase they stick out 4 feet from my body. I never knew this until Jason came along. He grabbed one once and made some comment about how skinny I was. I started to panick and I fought as hard as I could to get him away from me....he obviously thought it was hilarious which has led me to the discovery that prolonged touching of them makes me hyperventilate and some what violent.

6. hmmm...I have almost no hearing in my left ear from multiple ear infections as a kid.

And that's all. I can't really think of anything that is interesting. Well, thanks for entertaining me for a few minutes...only 3 hours and 20 minutes more to go.

Nothing yet

Well, we haven't heard anything yet. I'm okay with hearing that we didn't get it in. I'm okay with hearing that we did. Not knowing though drives me nuts. Closure is so nice. This too is the Lord's though and I'm sure that the reason we don't know yet is becuase I am being way too impatient and our Lord loves to use opportunities like this for His glory. So, I hand it over to Him. It doesn't matter when we find out. There will be enough time, to get everything done, if it is His will for us to go.

A possible opportunity?

Well, I am done with school. It has it's benefits, and it has it's down falls. School was so much more interesting. The different people and my social life was so much more exciting too. I learned something new every day when I was in college and after one month of no school I feel like I'm at an intellectual stand still. Work is...long. 8 hours a day, 5 days a week feels like an eternity to me. On my first day, after Jason picked me up from work, he asked me how it was. I told him that I felt like I did Monday-Friday all in one shift. He laughed and said, "Well, there's something quotable!" I will appreciate the checks though, and I guess my educational well being is in my own hands now. We'll see how well that goes!

Oh, and I'm blogging. I don't think that it will be very often. I set this blog up one afternoon becuase I was feeling tired of the every day life that I have in San Luis. I know, stupid huh? There are probably a handful of people that I know personally who would absolutely love to live here. I know that if I ever leave I will miss it. I guess right now I have a "fire in my belly" for something more. We will see how the Lord ends up using that desire...if he does. :-) So, back to the reason I set this blog up. I set it up becuase I thought that it would be neat to blog if the Lord ever sent me somewhere else, like abroad maybe. So, I guess the reason for the creation of this blog was a hopeful one.

Now to the real purpose of this post! I, or I should say, WE, find out (hopefully by Friday) if we are accepted to a program in Chile called the English Open Doors Program. (Oh, and the "we" is Jason and I). The program is through the Chilean education system...or through the government. There are so many programs out there and we loved the credibility of this. It's not a Christian organization. I think we would love to do that eventually but I don't think we are quite ready to raise support...maybe we have little faith :-)! Basically the idea of it though is that we apply, get accepted, and then we are placed somewhere in Chile. Normally you are placed individually with a family but since Jason and I will be going as a married couple (yes, that's right, you read it correctly) we will need to find our own housing. Then you are assigned to a school and a native Chilean teacher that you work along side with. You have your own classroom but you work under the teacher you are assigned too. You then basically teach English for 6 months. Your average work day is 8am-6pm. Not all of those hours are teaching hours but there is prep and all of that. Crazy huh? If this all goes through we will be leaving the States on May 30th. Granted between now and then Jason will be proposing and we will be getting married. What a whirl wind of events. We plan though and the Lord has His will in the end.

I'm kind of mixed about the whole thing. What an adventure it would be. But we would truly be newly weds. Could we handle all of that? I know that we have been dating for three years but dating is nothing like marriage. Living abroad adds a lot of pressure too. I guess if we go then it is the Lord's will and I know that He will never give us more than we can handle. He also desires to bless us if we are willing to live in Him and through Him with all things. So, bring it on! I've wanted change and maybe this is it. So, I guess I will update on the status of this all!!!